History of Fathers Resources International - Part one

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History of Fathers Resources International - Part one     Sunday, September 23, 2007 11:10 PMHistory of Fathers Resources International, its activities and the autobiography of its founder, Danny Guspie. Part one - Prologue: The boy becomes the man: A childhood hero points the way and provides the inspiration.

History of Fathers Resources International - Part one

By Danny Guspie

PROLOGUE - The Boy becomes the man

I’m Danny Guspie, the Executive Director of Fathers' Resources International. This blog will give you a sense of who we are as an organization, our roots, operating philosophy, and successes for men just like you.

To begin with here is my story sad and true, and I’ve typed it up, just for you:

I’m an adult child of divorce, a "latch-key kid" from the 1970's. I have had a lifetime of experience with divorce, personally, professionally and as a leading divorce reform activist and media spokesperson locally, regionally, provincially and internationally.

Most likely, we share something in common: The love of our children, cherishing our role as Dad. It’s a big part of our identity. Of this I am certain, or you would not be reading this page.

There are moments in your life that define what is to come – my parents refusing to buy me a guitar and tape recorder at age 4 after hearing my first rock n’ roll record – My Mom’s 78’s – Buddy Holly’s “Maybe Baby”, was the first, The Diamonds “The Stroll”, the Silhouettes with Get a Job and Frankie Avalon with Dee De Dinah…

Instead, I became a nerd for next 7 years, culminating with constantly writing NASA for astronaut literature. It was a way to escape the reality of my life which was a real drag. But I digress

The last summer my parents were together we went to Wasaga Beach and rented a cottage. That summer Brown Sugar by the Rolling Stones was the big hit and I was 12. That summer, I read a book that my mother ordered from a book of the month club. That book changed my entire life – “The Beatles: An Authorized Biography” by Hunter Davies.

The next installment: How the boy becomes the man – The apple does not fall far from the tree….

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Latest Articles There is no reason to be losing so badly when you are a divorced dad in Family Court... except that you don't have the right ideas, tools nor skills. BUT....IF… you can listen, follow a plan and are “coach-able”, we can DEFINITELY help you to improve the situation thi Sunday January 13th, 2008 on our teleseminar / webcast at DivorcedDadWeekly.comWaging Peace is the # 1 Negotiation / Positioning tool, strategy, tactic and systematic approach we recommend for creating multiple win/win solutions when you are a divorced dad in Family Court, facing custody, access, child visitation and child support issues. Waging Peace means putting aside blame, anger, recrimination, fault finding, revenge and all other negative emotions and fully considering the implications of every choice you make and how it will affect your child of divorce.

Divorced Dad Daily (DDD) is the the main blog (parent) of FRI. It includes a category (child) entitled Fathers Resources.

History of Fathers Resources International, its activities and the autobiography of its founder, Danny Guspie. Part one - Prologue: The boy becomes the man: A childhood hero points the way and provides the inspiration.We will be keeping the media and the public up to date on Fathers Resources International by publishing press releases and media reports here on the Press & Media Blog. FOLLOW THE MONEY...

Good article here on child support enforcement being improved by having a joint custody presumption in Michigan:

Note the following - the industrialization of child support as an adjunct to "The Divorce Industry"

One thousand seven hundred employees now work full-time in Friend of the Court offices as referees, counselors, clerks, and support staff in all 83 Michigan counties. In addition, many employees of the criminal justice system devote a major portion of their workday to this last vestige of debtor's prison.

So it is no surprise that there was consternation in Lansing over a federal plan that cut nearly a quarter billion dollars in Michigan subsidies for child-support enforcement. But one state legislator, Rep. Leslie Mortimer, R-Horton, has introduced a bill that could reduce the need for devoting so many resources to child support enforcement.

The problem we see daily is the "Ghost figures" that Ontario uses for its claim that there is 3 Billion dollars in unpaid child support.

Hogwash - 2 Billion of it is nothing but the meter ticking on matters that never return to Court for a termination order because dad can't afford a lawyer to get his Court order changed. Then he faces licence suspensions and possible jail time.

In the Alberta case Henry and Henry which is currently before the Canada's Supreme Court, a dissenting Judge nailed it perfectly - If child support should automatically go up with an increase of income, fairness dictates the reverse should also happen - Child support should go down when income decreases.

But then what would everybody at Child Support Enforcement do for a real job?

History of Fathers Resources International - Part Two

By Danny Guspie

PROLOGUE: Part 2 -  The Apple does not fall far from the tree

“The Beatles: An Authorized Biography” by Hunter Davies spoke to me like no other book I’d ever read before. I was a well read kid at that point, having read everything I could get my hands on from the moment I could read which would be somewhere around age four when my mother taught me the alphabet with a set of plastic letters that had magnets and a board to move them around on…

The Book: A wondrous tale happy, sad and true (or at least so I believed at that age…) that I related to. Mainly because of John Lennon’s family history, there was something very familiar and haunting about it, despite many things that were not held in common between our respective families. It was his quintessential Rock n’ Roll vocal – he seemed like the real deal (at a time when my family seemed like a charade…). I could not only hear his pain, but I could feel it – it gave expression to my own.

So began a love affair of a different sort, one of a young boy who’d found a kindred spirit, who wanted to know why he’d been so deeply affected by this story. It was not to be the first or the last time John Lennon would profoundly shape my development and independence in the same way Elvis Presley did for Lennon at age 15…

Arguably, Lennon’s music and the Beatles were the most influential aspect of my young life, helping me to feel hope, happiness and providing a language to articulate express and begin creating my own identity during my family crisis and resulting divorce. I always knew my parents were troubled from age 1 onwards. But at age 9 I became extremely cognizant that the end of my family was nigh.

John gave me an outlet. A very healthy one. He taught me how to transform pain into art. Music has always been my greatest outlet to expression. But John taught me how to scream. Really scream in a Rock n’ Roll way - Once I heard his first solo album when I was 12. I began my own form of primal therapy. When I heard him sing “Mother” I finally felt I wasn’t the only one who felt the same pain over a family that had large problems.

I absorbed Rock n’ Roll totally. It gave me a reason to get up everyday. Even today Little Richard’s “Wop bop a loo bop a wop bam boom…gets me “rockin’” I’m sure anyone who hears me play today, and who has heard my songs can easily see that John Lennon and Keith Richards made a huge and everlasting impression on me musically.

So I began playing drums and songwriting, and emulating John. Within 12 months my parents separated and ultimately divorced and I became a latch key kid, living with dad first then Mom, then on my own. So began my lifelong journey with divorce - But before I left home, I became a full fledged drop out. Spare was my favorite class in High School (with “high” being the operative word….)

At age 14 I was playing guitar, hooky on a daily basis, had done an enormous amount of drugs of all sorts and on weekends go to watch the film Rolling Stones “Gimme Shelter” - 35 times to be exact at CineCity. I was also fanatical film watcher at the “Original 99 cent Roxy Theatre” long before the Rocky Horror Picture Show destroyed and closed that theatre down for good. It was a good place to hang and get high with minimal fuss and forget the mess my life was because of my own unhappiness with my family.

Next – Lost and Found

A child-support bill tied to drivers' licenses fails to pass the Senate in Utah - Associated Press: Utah Senators had concerns about revoking the driving privileges of those not paying child support because they weren't being allowed to see their children.Caring for a child for between 52 and 126 nights each year will reduce the amount owed by 24 per cent, while those with custody for more than 176 nights will cut their maintenance bills by half. The new formula also recognises for the first time that the cost of raising children increases as they get older. Open letter from Danny Guspie to the Governments of Canada: "ISN'T CHILD SUPPORT FOR THE CHILD?" I was inspired to ask yet again for an accounting of where the increased tax revenue dollars go since the implementation of the Child Support Guidelines in 1997. Heidi and I met with the Department of Finance who could not give us these answers 9 years ago. Hopefully they've had time to do the books ;-)Yes, say two University of Virginia sociologists who found that married women are happiest with a sensitive guy who earns most of the family's money. Women are also willing to take on more housework if they feel their husbands pay attention to them, and they feel the arrangement is "fair," if not equal. NORTH DAKOTA: Secretary of state OKs child custody initiative by Divorced Dad - He has until August to get nearly 13,000 signatures to get it on the ballot for a state-wide vote.Great piece here: "As a child of divorce between two parents with few differences other than conflicting outlooks - the kid left in me wants to scream stop it any way you can even if it means you have to drop to your knees and plead."

Most adults just don't get it - Unless you've gone through it as a child, you cannot possibly know anything about what us "children of divorce" go through. My comment - "Adults Suck" especially when they forget their childhood, humanity, responsibilities and selfishly place their needs above their obligations to their children.

You would think Judges, the most educated members of society would get that. But they don't. and we've seen plenty of cases just like this:

A father who has had his kids for many, many years finally gets an order of child support. He's forced to keep going to Family Court, spend money, and not get any support for the kids, for excuses that would never be tolerated if the roles were reversed. What woman waits years for such an order? Oh and he doesn't get an order of enforcement of child support by the Family Responsibility Office. The Judge turned down what is a routine order in every child support matter in Ontario - enforcement.

This particular mother and the way the Court has let her off the hook for years epitomizes everything bigoted about Family Court. He told the Judge that his kids were begging him to stop all action in Family Court (mom was putting a lot of pressure on them, as you can all imagine.)

Why is it that mothers rarely pay child support when they lose custody?

Because - Adults Suck.

View the original article here